The Search for the Famed "White Looter"

CNN to Pay Top Dollar for “White Looter” Footage

ATLANTA -- The devastation was total and complete. New Orleans, a city ravaged by a history of violence now sits vulnerable while many stranded citizens of that fair city ravage her for food, clothing, electronics and other consumer items. The governor of Louisiana has ordered the National Guard to use violence if necessary. The country waits in anticipation. The media is stuck on replay.

Tired of the image of poor African-American residents using downed power and flooded streets as an excuse to wreak social havoc, CNN is stepping up in an attempt to give a more diversified view of civil strife in the Crescent City. The cable news network announced the offering of a $10,000 check to anyone who "has captured video footage of a white, Caucasian American looting."

One CNN associate stated, "It has to be there somewhere. Somewhere in New Orleans there's a white person stealing a TV and we're going to get it on tape and play it!" The associate went on to say that the footage "didn't necessarily have to be from New Orleans," so long as the "Anglo race is featured prominently and unquestionably in the aftermath footage."

Some commentators have noted the proximity of CNN's offer and rapper Kanye West's public admonishment of the Bush administration and the mainstream media. "It's not Kanye at all," said Steve Roaling, a CNN spokesperson, "we here at CNN are just as tired of seeing African-American looting as the average black person. Once we have the footage to present a more fair and balanced picture of the situation, we will." Roaling went on to blame the hurricane and storm surge for knocking out communication and transportation to the area, resulting in "an incomplete view of those minorities left to fend for themselves by the racist bureaucracy...and Mother Nature."

Average Americans had also noticed the lack of "white looter" footage. "All you see is some black guy running around stealing a DVD Player," said Craig Willaby, an avid news watcher from Beavercreek, Ohio, "you know other people are stealing stuff but it's always the same guy. It really shows the depth of hatred and bigotry in our news networks."


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