Hurricane Refuses to Hit Land

Meteorologists Insist Hurricane Will Hit U.S.

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Over 250 miles off the coast of South Carolina a category 1 Hurricane is waiting to make land fall...or, so says every meteorologist watching the storm. Hurricane Ophelia has been following along the coast of Florida over the past week, threatening to hit land before veering out to sea where it continues to follow a northeastern trajectory. It appears the hurricane is moving out of harm's way, but meteorologists are not so quick to celebrate.


Meteorlogists project that Hurricane Ophelia will make landfall, despite the storm's current trajectory.

"All of our computer models and our gut instinct say it is going to do a 180 [degree turn] and hit land. The only variant as to where it will hit is how long it waits before turning around," said Douglas Black, an armchair meteorologist who has been following the storm intently from the basement of his Jacksonville, FL home. Black has been monitoring the storm since it threatened to sweep up Florida's Atlantic coastline earlier last week. "I'm going to be disappointed if it just peters out into the Atlantic like a big category 1 letdown. It's not even strengthening, which is sad. Of course, after the excitement of [Hurricane] Katrina, everything will look a little pale in comparison."

Professional meteorologists express similar concern, although specifically point out that they do not wish Ophelia to make landfall on the Eastern Seaboard, lest they suffer lawsuits. "It's not so much a desire to see the storm hit land as it is a knowledge that despite a storm's current path, it can change," says Jacob Northrip, a spokesperson for the National Weather Service, "it can act all cool and calm and then turn around just like that and be crazy like one of those...those shows, those cop shows where the cops chase the guys who get out of their cars running through people's yards and get tackled and sent off to jail and get caught on tape the whole time. It's kind of like that. You never can tell with them. One minute she's over here yelling and howling and then the next minute – ‘hey, look...I'm over here, big boy! Watch me hit this little town and cause social turmoil and flooding!’ Completely unpredictable! They really are magnificent weather systems."


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